The History of Frasier Crane
by OscarGray
Summary: Set in 1994, Niles asks his brother to address a Historical Foundation, despite his lack of knowledge on the particular aspect of history - Frasier attempts to learn all he can.
1. Chapter 1

Frasier sat with a copy of The Wall Street Journal and relaxed with a glass of Sherry

Frasier sat with a copy of _The Wall Street Journal _and relaxed with a glass of Sherry. Awaiting Niles arrival, Daphne was in her room and his father had gone to bed a few hours ago. It was nearly eleven, yet Maris and Niles had been out all afternoon and evening. Niles always got a hard time for Maris.

The door opened with much enthusiasm. "Evening Frasier" said Niles in his usual 'nothing is wrong' manner. Carrying a box. "My Maris and I went to see a show."

"A show?" said Frasier scanning a mental diary that he took. He could think of no shows that Maris would be interested in seeing, and Maris and Niles only went to a show that Maris and Maris would enjoy.

"Well no, Not a show as such Frasier, We had….." a smile broke through on Niles calm appearance. Frasier knew the answer.

"Now Frasier what I wanted to ask is, Could you fill in for my Maris and I at this ghastly charity event on Saturday?"

"Which is that?" asked Frasier

"Oh the Admiral Cochrane Foundation, After that Wretched Scot who helped establish independence for a variety of nations."

"But, I though Maris wanted to go, For she has a large number of Hispanic friends has she not?"

"Yes she does. But my Maris can't stand being in the same room of those people"

"What people?"

"People who eat as much food as they do!"

"Well Niles that shouldn't be too hard. Have I to do anything?"

"Actually. What do you know about Admiral Cochrane?"

"Nothing. Except that he was a Scot of some kind. With a foundation named after him." Frasier let out a tremendous laugh at his excellent wit. "Should I know more?"

The box that Niles had been carrying was emptied of its contents, Histories of South America; The Autobiography of Admiral Cochrane; A Book about the Scottish Mafia; Accounts of the Cochrane Foundation and a list of people attending the event. "A lot of reading Niles?" laughed Frasier "You would do this much studying to look smart at a fundraiser?"

"Actually Frasier, I was asked to do a half hour speech about the history of the man."

"Why?" asked Frasier "You're a Psychiatrist, Their must be half a dozen doctorates of history at this event."

"No. Haha. You see Frasier, Maris was rather, Picky about donating to the foundation this year. In that, she didn't know she'd been donating five hundred dollars a month for the last year. Sloppy accounting of the highest standard, Anyway, in the hope of getting revenge on it – she wished to strip it of its standing among historical foundations."

"So she forced them to un-invite all accredited historians?" Frasier laughed, this behaviour was typical of Maris. "Surely they give a lot more than 500 between them."

"Yes, However Frasier, Maris knows the Chairman of the Foundation." Niles looked even more uncomfortable. "The chairman Frasier, is you."

"What?" Frasier jumped up from his seat and threw down the copy of the 1994 accounting down, These were the latest available accounts. "You don't mean to say that, I am Chairman of a Foundation I know nothing about?"

"Why yes Frasier. And, I neglected to point out that there are several people with PhDs of History that will be going to this event. It is simply customary that the Chairman give a speech summarising why the foundation exists and….. Well, you'll have to do it."

"Why on Earth?" said Frasier

"Must I ask you really? I am fed up of Maris winning, I want this foundation to beat her, Perhaps it might humble her. Make her more open to concession" Frasier felt an enormous sympathy for his brother Niles.

"Well all right Niles. I can deliver the speech!" Frasier sat back down on his chair. Almost midnight. He looked at his paper, Wednesday August 17th 1994, it was out of date now.


	2. Chapter 2

It was late into Thursday evening and Frasier remained studying the various books which Niles had dropped off

It was late into Thursday evening and Frasier remained studying the various books which Niles had dropped off. "Have you any idea how wretched this man is?" said Frasier to his Father who sat in front of the television. "Not exactly Horatio Nelson. Or anyone of the admirable admirals" a small laugh came from his father, who never really appreciated Frasier's wit in moments like this.

"You never told me you were President of this organisation Frasier" said Martin.

"No I didn't did I? I also failed to tell myself. Niles got word of it though" said Frasier. Fascinated by the detail of an account he was reading. "I need to get extra books."

"You got books this morning!" said Martin pointing to a pile of books on the table behind the settee. "How much more could you want to read?"

"Well. I had to get a set of books related to elections in England in the 18th and 19th centuries to see how Orthodox Cochrane's actions were. However, now I need a few books about tax law to check out this foundations financial dealing since…. 1991."

"Oh well, Maybe you ought to sit in with a dozen tax accountants." Said Martin smirking. Frasier put on his coat and approached the door. Which burst open to Niles carrying a huge box of books, He was quick to ask "Is Daphne here?"

"No"

The box of books fell instantly to the floor and a relieved Niles announced how heavy they were. "I thought these could prove useful for your presentation Frasier. Thanks awfully much for doing this. There is a bottle of rather expensive wine in it for you. Care to guess the year?"

"Nineteen-ninety Niles?" laughed Martin.

"Eighteen-ninety two, Bordeaux Red. Rather pricey. Around 2,000 a bottle."

"Really Niles? Excellent, That will finance my Doctoral Thesis on the History of Admiral Cochrane!"

"Hello William. I'm listening" said Frasier.

"Well doctor, I worry about my marriage. My wife seems to think I care more about the students at my school than I do about her." Said the Caller William.

"What subject do you teach William?" Roz banged the screen to remind Frasier that their was only two minutes of call time left.

"History, Is that important?"

"You know William. I'd like to speak to you after the show. Would that be at all possible?"

"Well I guess doctor."

"Great, You'll be aware of why Admiral Cochrane wanted Independence for South American colonies?"

"His this anything to do with my problem?"

Frasier laughed "Well William, If you could just explain what Admiral Cochrane would think of the Latino people in America. And I will relate this to you… Look William. We'll speak after the show." Frasier examined his equipment and made sure to have the caller put on hold for the remainder of the show.

Niles and Daphne were sitting listening to Frasier's show. "It is an insult to psychiatry that such a show should become a history discussion."

"Well, I'm from Britain and I've never heard of this Admiral Cochrane"

"What school did you attend Daphne?" Niles caught his insult and added "Many British schools select from the finer history of your great Nation." And then he laughed. "Maris had never heard of him either. Until a few years ago she was asked to provide a venue for a fundraising event. Which she was happy to do, My Maris always was a willing Philanthropist. Until she decided to crush this organisation into the ground…"

Frasier's humble home was filled with an ever increasing stack of books. Over a hundred. Several other piles of papers. Ever the perfectionist – Frasier had completed two drafts of his speech and read them aloud to his audience of one. He was disappointed. It was a horrible subject, a historical figure he found evil. The question ate away at him – could he really praise a figure he so hated just to help

"Dad." He said as Marty was watching a documentary about the Mariners finest players. "I don't know if I can give a speech about a man I detest, even if it for Niles benefit. Maris is right about all of this."

"Frasier, Why doya have to over analyse every little thing? Why can't you just do your brother a favour and not care what these people think?"

"It goes against my ethics as a Psychiatrist! I can't praise a man who quite evidently lies in his autobiography. He obviously had an inferiority complex and…"

"Frasier! This is an event for historians. They don't care what you as a psychiatrist think. Now could you be quiet for a while?"

Frasier returned to his studies. Pondering over whether he could truly give the speech he intended. He took with him his favourite sherry and a packet of M&Ms which to his displeasure, was not served with a generous quantity of yellows.


End file.
